CLASS! CLASS!

wtf. while at bard, ihave learned a lot of shit. race, class, gender, sexuality, akademics, the game, husstle, friends, enemies, temporary friends, friends with benefits (humpyhumpy and moneymoney--wise), etc. but one that gets ignored a lot and i believe i (and others, but no one talks about it) get the ass end of it and makes me feel like shitg...is class!

i am not going to write a lot, but i will say this! listen carolyn! yes! i do LOVE to lock the door to our room when we go to bed. why, you might, and did, ask?well, fietler is a classed house in a classed school, with classed students (basically a completely upper class environment ((minus the mice)) and people feel sooooo fucking comfortable not locking the front door because "this school is so safe." Not even when all the women in this house were shit scared of rob ross for a minute (more like a month) were the doors locked. i put it out there that we should lock it, just in case, and was looked at as a crazy man to ever think that bard isnt 24/7 safe (even from fucking rapists, crazy drunks, townies or not). and now about going to bed at night...what is the gaddam reason not to lock our room door? is it because our room is just a mini version of feitler? is there an invisible barrier outside our room door too, as there is on the front door?

let me give you some realness background:

i did not have the priviledge of growing up in a safe neighborhood where locking doors is almost taboo and rude. for me it was essential. negroes in the hood and ghetto struggle and husstle. i dont black them and their condition, but being just a little carefull of the conditioned possibility of breaking in and robing the little we had and have, locking the door is essential to me. this is how i grew up. being always concious of the fact that a break in might happen, that a shoot out might occur, or that a police search is possible. i blame a lot of my OCD on my poverty condition. getting anxious when things dont go as ritualized or when i dont feel safe and having to find irrational justification to 'balance my body and mind" is no game.

let me tell you, you unconscious classists sons and daughters of people even with enough money to make you feel safe with doors unlocked, it is fucked up that you do not realize that the simple phrase "it is so unessasary to lock the door" is classists. i feel like a lot of people at bard, despite other oppressed condition (race, gender, sexuality, disaility, etc, etc) are like this. but since this mentality is the majority, those who do suffer the extreme classism to where you feel like shit for growing up poor in a hoodghetto with always having more than 6 people in one house, all workin to get fed (even at 14 when kids are playing pokemon and watching cartoons), basically shortening ones childhood and maturing at a not normal or standard time (which is a first world priviledge) always gets ignored or just not thought about.

to leave it at that, class is a big issuefor me at bard. it just hurts more when friends are being classists. it just means that when i was telling my story, no one was listening, no one. i am not ever taken seriously. i am just the gay, blatino mix, cunty, homothug, from the city, who is not really smart and cant use smart words, so we are just going to play with him and watch him dance his cunty dance and actually be ashamed to be seem with him or talking to him and actually never engage in an intellectual conversation with him because we have ruled that out of him already and did not give him a change, or dont care that he will succeed if that chance is given little boy. thats me folks.

im narrowing down the little friends that i thought i had. i am not going to tell you who you are, but i am narrowing yall down.

LE DARKNESS

It has begun.
The darkness will soon be ascending over the webs of cyberspace leaving a path of dark chocolate in its wake . . . all will tremble before the sublime power of the darkness. We draw from Frantz Fanon's dance and Bossip's celebrity sensibility. We cut with words like Coco Fusco and dance over language like Tabetha Ewing. We are American, Dominican, Pennsylvanian, and Texan . . . but the darkness pervades has always already drawn us together. We are network power, we are nigga power. We are network nigga power and our mainframe is 2 tons, resting on the backs of anorexic white girls and chode bros with popped collars. LE DARKNESS is ascending and best be ready.